I Love The Internet (Video Edition p2)

– It’s always nice starting a post off with a couple of cougars. Or are they pumas? MILFS? OK, so is there a term that everyone uses to describe hot older women? You know what; it doesn’t matter. Here’s Elle MacPherson, who’s 46:

and Stacey Dash, clocking in at a blazing 44 y.o. and looking like she just stepped off the set of “Clueless”. Just go ahead and fast-forward to about the 1:45 mark & do your best to ignore the former CO next to her:

– There’s going above and beyond your job description…and then there’s this guy. So so SO NSFW:

– HELL FUCKING YES IT’S THE GOON!!! A scarred behemoth and his psychopath friend running a protection racket in a Prohibition-style town full of zombies, gypsies, monsters and surrounded by a freaky-ass forest? Hurry out and come out already!!!:

– Well, Jacqui Ainsley just made my short list of “Women to Watch in 2011.” Interesting side note – she voiced Madison in the awesome video game Heavy Rain:

– If DC Universe Online is anywhere near as badass as this epic trailer suggests, I say to hell with the game; scrap the whole thing and just make this a movie already:

– So apparently someone at G4 had a hell of a brainwave, and got Warren Ellis(!) to write four Marvel-based anime serials that are going to air in 2011; Iron Man, X-Men, Wolverine and Blade. In light of this, here is a minute of undistilled-awesomeness from Iron Man:

– I’m not 100% sure how I feel about the whole “Gamer Girlz” culture that’s popping up (more on that in the future), but there is absolutely no confusion concerning my feelings toward this lovely guest host that goes by the name of Danielle; yowza! Excuse me whilst I go catch my breath:

– Y’know, TV used to be really, really cool. Especially in the 70’s…pretty sure you couldn’t get away with underage girls simulating oral sex on television these days:

– Eight minutes of a ton of dancers from various old movies doing their thing over a chopped-up Beatles song. YOU’RE WELCOME:

I Love The Internet (pt. 22)

– Mark it down: 2010 is the year of the zombies, and these Street Fighter pics are just the tip of the iceberg.

– Bruce Lee v. Iron Man. This. Is. EPIC.

– Megan Fox certainly knows how to keep people’s interests, and it’s definitely not her acting talents.

– I would’ve added “Dark Claw”, but this list of Wolverine’s ten worst moments is still pretty good.

– Hey, remember that giant real-life Gundam from almost a year back? Well, it’s back, and this time it’s got a beam saber. EVERYONE PANIC!!!

– Dog Heaven.

– Thank you, Greg Manchess, for this incredible picture of one of the best, bloodiest moments in fantasy literature, the battle of Dumai’s Wells from Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series.

– These interactive political polls are always interesting to me, mainly because I’m always more progressive than I would imagine.

– There are bad porno-type sex scenes, and there’s bad monster movies, but when the two meet, that’s when you get something special.

– At least someone has their priorities in order.

– For browser early adopters like myself, this trick to update your add-ons is absolutely clutch.

– There’s never a bad time for Mila Kunis pics.

– When you wanna grow marijuana, but you don’t want anyone to know, the Stealth Box is invaluable.

– OK, so…is this girl a douchebagette or not? I’m torn…

– Hell, yes – this list of secret menu items at 24 different fast-food type restaurants has changed my life.

– Goddamnit, people – I love Guitar Hero as much as the next person, but if your controller has strings, JUST LEARN HOW TO PLAY AN ACTUAL GUITAR. Trust me, women are far more impressed by actual talent than video-game talent, and yes, there is a difference.

– Heh; explosions are cool.

– HAH! I ask you, though: how did he not see the sign?

– Why couldn’t I have gone to a cool school like this when I was a kid?

I Love The Internet (pt. 18)

– Flexibility: it’s almost never, ever overrated.

– Christ. Look, I accept that this is essentially a nation composed of obese weapon fanatics, so the idea of a company that sells chocolate guns strikes me less a preposterous joke, than a great business idea. But chocolate ammo? Chocolate grenades? Really?

– I remember hearing about these Seth McFarlane-designed Alice in Wonderland figurines, but I never got to see the finished products until now, and…holy shit. Incidentally, for those of you who think I’m talking about the Family Guy writer, I’m talking about the guy who made things like this.

– In this crazy world of instant worldwide internet saturation, I am eternally grateful for the simple fact that a lot of hot girls don’t seem to realize that taking a sexy picture of yourself and put it on Facebook or MySpace doesn’t so much lead to that cute guy that lives a few houses down noticing you as much as it leads to random websites archiving your “private” pictures.

– It’s a known, but little-discussed fact that movies change a ton during the process from idea to full-fledged project, and the interesting tweaks that occur grow in stature when you’re talking about Avatar, a film that’s maybe two months old but is already the second-highest grossing movie of all time. Side note: I agree with this blogger when he says that this treatment might have made a “better” movie than what we eventually got.

– Mark Millar is one of the most prolific comic writers of the last decade or so, overseeing acts such as turning Superman into a dedicated commie, turning Wolverine into essentially a mind-controlled zombie ninja, and tearing apart the Marvel Universe, just to name a few. But when he says his newest work, Nemesis, can be described as…well, I’ll just let him describe it:

‘”Nemesis” is a reversal of the Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark archetype. What if this genius billionaire was just this total shit, and the only thing that stood between him and a city was the cops? It’s Batman versus Commissioner Gordon, in a weird way. Or maybe a super-villain version of “Se7en.” A billionaire anarchist up against ordinary people. The Joker’s the best thing in the Batman movies, so this guy is a bit of an amalgamation of all the stuff we like.’

Sure, Batman as the Joker seems like a good idea, but everyone knows DC won’t let that fly, so how close could it really be…

Well then. Note – DC is not amused.

– Are the citizens of Dubai incapable of showing even a modicum of simplicity in their architecture?

– I have some friends who don’t really like Michael Cera, because in their words “he plays the same character in every movie.” Um…just about every actor plays the same character in every movie, right? But I’ve been excited about the upcoming movie adaptation of fantastic indie comic “Scott Pilgrim”, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, and this still from the last fight scene between Pilgrim and his nemesis Gideon’s cronies just has me even more excited.

– Out of all the hip-hop video vixens that have “blown up” over the years (Melissa Ford, Vida Guerra, Ki Toy Johnson, Gloria Velez, etc.), it is still absolutely insane that the painfully fine Nicole Ricca still gets almost zero recognition.

– Some people might say that this flamethrower/mosquito killer is total overkill. As a native Floridian, my only response is, “Why isn’t this in stores yet?”

– Did you know that with maybe five minutes of work, you can hack into your friend’s Kodak Easyshare Wireless Picture Frame? If you’re wondering why you would even want to do something like that, well…you’ve never pulled a prank on someone, have you?

– “Thou speakest rightly, sir. No man misdeals with Joshua Quince, by Jesu!” Verily, brothers and sisters, the most excellent comedie and tragic romance of Two Gentleman of Lebowski is as a drought of the most delectable heavenly nectar.

– Iron Man’s new armor is sick as fuck. That is all.

– Indie games! Thanks to Boing Boing for this guide to the 2010 Indie Games Festival; my personal favorite so far is Today I Die. Go check it out.

-People (mostly foreigners) always talk about how, despite large amounts of evidence to the contrary, Americans act like everything about our country trumps everything about every other country in the world, throughout time. Well, that’s just plain not true. My proof? The fact that any red-blooded American man will fucking melt if you throw an attractive foreign girl his way, as this list of the top 15 countries with the hottest women will attest.

– The Perplexus looks like a freakish mix between an M.C. Escher drawing, a pinball game and a couple of hits of LSD. I’m sure it goes without saying that I absolutely love it.

– I don’t care if you don’t give a shit about architecture or CGI; you need to watch this absolutely breathtaking movie by the Third and the Seventh on the aspect of architectural art from a photographic viewpoint

I love the Internet (pt. 8)

– When homes meet art…wait a minute. Where the hell does he sleep?
– If you’ve never heard of Melissa Theuraiu, do yourself a favor and Google her real quick, because she’s arguably the hottest newscaster in the world. Which makes these pictures that show her husband(?) squirming uncomfortably while she writhes all over him confusing as all hell.
– OK people, I like Wolverine as much as the next guy, but this is just ridiculous…
– I’m just assuming that figuring out who the ten hottest girls in pro surfing are must be remarkably hard. Fun, but hard. And no, I’m not going to make the obvious joke there. You’ll just have to do it yourself.
– Cinematography, in my opinion, is the forgotten deal-breaker for a movie; it can have a great script, talented actors, a big budget and all that, but if the cinematography is no good, the whole movie feels…fake. With that in mind, the long take can be the hardest, but most fulfilling technique to pull off, which is why this list of the best long takes in movie history is awesome, in my mind.
– The prototypical Natalie Portman.
– I’m not sure what’s more surprising about this collection of the craziest restaurants in the world; that none of them are in the US, or that they’re not all in Japan.
– My friend Josh is a die-hard Halo fan. This is the woman of his dreams. Now we’ve just got to figure out a way to get him to England.
– Attention, everybody! Apparently a hot millionaire CEO MILF is on the prowl for a new man. In case you’re interested, a little tip for you – sending her pictures of yourself wearing nothing but a whip-cream bikini? Not a winning plan. Especially if your nipples look like this.
– I enjoy soccer, but I’ve mentioned before that I have various issues with “the beautiful game.” So what did this guy do? Take a bunch of pictures of hot Chinese women playing soccer on a muddy field in nothing but tiny bras and panties. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
– Why the hell are all the cool buildings not near me? Like this place, Hallgrimskirkja (even the name’s badass). This is a CHURCH. And not a church for someone like Thor, either – this is supposed to be a church for God. All I have to say to that, is that if they built churches like this where I live, I might go more often.
– There’s no way this is real, right? I mean…that’s got to be bullshit. That would HAVE to make the news if it were real.
– You know why I want the FMG9 semi-automatic? Because I’ve seen a ton of horror flicks where the good guys are only armed with flashlights and shovels and stuff, while the bad guys have all this crazy weaponry. Well, I’ve got a flashlight that folds out into a gun. Where is your Leatherface now?
– A little advice, boston.com. When you write an article about a guy who gets paid $2,000 a day to paint ridiculously hot naked Brazilian women during Carnival, and your title is “Best job in Brazil?”…just go ahead and drop the question mark. Trust me.
– A collection of pictures showing what people in 1910 thought life in the year 2000 would be like. Let’s see here – rollerblades? Check. Firemen with robotic bat wings? Um, no.
– I remember when I saw the Kegerator for the first time. I thought to myself, “A mini-fridge with an insulated hole in the top for the tap? Genius!” I didn’t think anything could top that. Well, I present to you, the beer-launching robot fridge.