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Posts Tagged ‘Warren Ellis’

I Love The Internet (pt. 29)

January 26, 2011 Leave a comment

Hey, remember that Master P song, "Mr. Ice Cream Man"?

Oh, Gucci Mane; promise me you’ll never change.

– I know it’s never going to happen, but with guys like Newt Gingrich and Bill Kristol all over TV, it would be nice to see someone like Richard Trumka getting a little more airplay.

– Some things aren’t obvious until they’re starkly pointed out. Example: Johnny Depp has had a lot of weird roles.

These are so in my wheelhouse that’s it’s not even funny. Caleb Charland, you are my new favorite photographer.

– My ass that this is Margaret McPoyle. My entire ass.

– Look, it’s always gonna sting losing Mila Kunis, but if you have to get a rebound, you could do a lot worse than a porn star.

– Really, Kanye? You spent $180,000 on a crazy-ass watch that has an iced-out picture of yourself? Have you never heard of a mirror? How the hell can you tell what time it is? Isn’t that the entire point of a watch?

– God damnit, bro.

– This is Jeannette McCurdy of the Disney Channel’s “iCarly”. This is her proving that you’re never too young to have your tits out. And this is Christy Carlson Romano, formerly of Even Stevens and voice of popular cartoon Kim Possible agreeing with her. I have only one question; what the hell is going on with Disney girls these days? More on this later…

– Of course this video comes out after Halloween.

– How about some fun timesucks? Isle of Tune, anyone? Oh, not your thing. Perhaps Entanglement is more to your liking. You don’t like either of them, you say? Then how about 50 more Flash games. Also, if you want something a little more intellectual, here’s some brain puzzles, and a game that tests your reactions; don’t say I never gave you anything.

– This picture is even better when you finally do find Waldo.

– You know that scene in that Keanu Reeves movie The Replacements (I know, just bear with me) where the local “dancers” the head cheerleader hired to be her squad start showing their “moves” out on the field?Yeah…Los Marineritas de Almirante Brown de Argentina are basically the real-life version of that, but with crazy-hot Argentinian women. Yeah.

Vertical cities always seem like an awesome idea, but I’ve always had reservations. What about people with claustrophobia? What about a base-width/structure-height ratio? How easy is it to move from level to level, and would that ease (or lack of it) translate to a segregated hierarchy?

– From the same people who brought you “weird Russian Gadget Hackwrench cult“, here’s “weird Peruvian dress-up-your-guinea-pig celebration!

– I’m torn on whether or not I find the idea of city-sized invisibility cloaks that affect space and time incredibly awesome or incredibly disturbing….it’s probably a good-sized amount of both.

Julia Crown. OH MY FUCKING GOD.

– OK, smart guy. You think a couple of hours a day of Fox News makes you qualified to tackle difficult political issues? Then here – you fix the budget.

– Hey, wanna feel old? Guess where you’ve seen this girl before. Give up? Prepare to cry.

– Not only is that sexy, but hey – dye that thing purple, throw on a sash and dye your hair, and you got a perfect Psylocke costume.

– If you saw Charlie Wilson’s War, you might remember this belly dancer. Well, her name is Tracy Phillips, and her father is former Dallas Cowboys head coach (and current Houston Texans defensive coordinator) Wade Phillips. Yeah. This guy. Guess that explains why Jerry Jones kept him around for so long…

– Since it’s not being reported on any news channels (seriously, what the fuck?) I feel that I cannot emphasize this enough – stay the fuck out of Mexico. Nobody wants any part of what’s going on down there; not even the Mexicans. Oh, and if you’re a pretty girl from the Andes region of Columbia – like, say, Juliana Sossa, Angie Sanclamente, or Laura Elena Zuniga – run. Run, and don’t even look back for a second.

– The more I see of Susan Coffey, the more and more I want to see.

This reminds me of the part of Gulliver’s Travels where the titular character is in Brobdingnag, the land of giants, and can’t help but notice that at that much of a size disparity, even the most attractive people appear disgusting. Something to think about. Oh, and it should go real well with these touchable holograms Japanese scientists are developing.

– Wait – there was a second season of Rupaul’s Drag Race?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Snuff Film.

– If you’re a man and you don’t have a smile on your face after scrolling down a few minutes, either you’re gay or you’re dead.

– Hey, I’ll say this: these guys have as good a shot of finishing their self-made Zelda film as anyone.

-Yes, it’s beyond messed up that this girl is in danger of losing her scholarship over completely legal activities, but honestly – how stupid must she be to agree to be in a porno while in college! Does she have any idea how much porno college-age guys watch? What – she goes to ASU? Oh…that explains that, then.

AAAAAHHHHHH!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

– Up until I went to college (go Gators), I wasn’t really a sports fan. I paid just about enough attention to be aware of what was happening, but for the most part I was solidly disinterested…except for basketball. And one of the things I remember hearing about early on, was the remarkable nature of the “basketball groupie”. With that said, I’d like to thank the ladies of Basketball Wives (an amazing title, considering that none of the women on the show are actually married to basketball players), especially Royce Reed, Evelyn Lozada, and most recently Jennifer Williams for bringing this “culture” into the spotlight, where hopefully it will shrivel and die in the withering rays of the sun.

– Now this is the type of top-10 list I can get behind.

– It’s interesting to see how a song or story can take on a completely different meaning depending on how it’s read/heard. For example, here’s Christopher Walken “performing” Lada Gaga’s “Pokerface”:

– …and here’s Werner Herzog ripping apart the facade that is “Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel”:

My Side Of The Mountain always was one of my favorite books as a kid:

– Nosaj Thing is the shit:

– A little played out, but c’mon; that’s adorable:

– And hey, speaking of puppets:

– Really? This is the first time The Roots, Erykah Badu & Eve have performed “You Got Me” together live?

–  Um…that’s…I’m, like, 70% sure this is sexy. Also, more Masuimi Max here:

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/5113311]

– Wait – there were 10 minutes of outtakes from Chappelle’s Show’s hilarious “Black Bush” sketch?

– Mark Visser riding a 40-foot wave at night, TRON style. YES:

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/19013071]

– Lazy Teenage Superheroes. This is brilliant, and it was only made for $300:

– Eat your heart out, Tiger Woods:

I Love The Internet (Video Edition p2)

July 31, 2010 Leave a comment

– It’s always nice starting a post off with a couple of cougars. Or are they pumas? MILFS? OK, so is there a term that everyone uses to describe hot older women? You know what; it doesn’t matter. Here’s Elle MacPherson, who’s 46:

and Stacey Dash, clocking in at a blazing 44 y.o. and looking like she just stepped off the set of “Clueless”. Just go ahead and fast-forward to about the 1:45 mark & do your best to ignore the former CO next to her:

– There’s going above and beyond your job description…and then there’s this guy. So so SO NSFW:

– HELL FUCKING YES IT’S THE GOON!!! A scarred behemoth and his psychopath friend running a protection racket in a Prohibition-style town full of zombies, gypsies, monsters and surrounded by a freaky-ass forest? Hurry out and come out already!!!:

– Well, Jacqui Ainsley just made my short list of “Women to Watch in 2011.” Interesting side note – she voiced Madison in the awesome video game Heavy Rain:

– If DC Universe Online is anywhere near as badass as this epic trailer suggests, I say to hell with the game; scrap the whole thing and just make this a movie already:

– So apparently someone at G4 had a hell of a brainwave, and got Warren Ellis(!) to write four Marvel-based anime serials that are going to air in 2011; Iron Man, X-Men, Wolverine and Blade. In light of this, here is a minute of undistilled-awesomeness from Iron Man:

– I’m not 100% sure how I feel about the whole “Gamer Girlz” culture that’s popping up (more on that in the future), but there is absolutely no confusion concerning my feelings toward this lovely guest host that goes by the name of Danielle; yowza! Excuse me whilst I go catch my breath:

– Y’know, TV used to be really, really cool. Especially in the 70’s…pretty sure you couldn’t get away with underage girls simulating oral sex on television these days:

– Eight minutes of a ton of dancers from various old movies doing their thing over a chopped-up Beatles song. YOU’RE WELCOME:

You Honor Me, Warren Ellis…

November 21, 2009 Leave a comment

Seriously, this absolutely made my day –

Your humble author is located middle row, on the right, next to the angry pink-haired man drinking a pint.

P.S. – I’m not picking my nose; I swear.