Archive

Posts Tagged ‘Mila Kunis’

I Love The Internet (pt. 29)

January 26, 2011 Leave a comment

Hey, remember that Master P song, "Mr. Ice Cream Man"?

Oh, Gucci Mane; promise me you’ll never change.

– I know it’s never going to happen, but with guys like Newt Gingrich and Bill Kristol all over TV, it would be nice to see someone like Richard Trumka getting a little more airplay.

– Some things aren’t obvious until they’re starkly pointed out. Example: Johnny Depp has had a lot of weird roles.

These are so in my wheelhouse that’s it’s not even funny. Caleb Charland, you are my new favorite photographer.

– My ass that this is Margaret McPoyle. My entire ass.

– Look, it’s always gonna sting losing Mila Kunis, but if you have to get a rebound, you could do a lot worse than a porn star.

– Really, Kanye? You spent $180,000 on a crazy-ass watch that has an iced-out picture of yourself? Have you never heard of a mirror? How the hell can you tell what time it is? Isn’t that the entire point of a watch?

– God damnit, bro.

– This is Jeannette McCurdy of the Disney Channel’s “iCarly”. This is her proving that you’re never too young to have your tits out. And this is Christy Carlson Romano, formerly of Even Stevens and voice of popular cartoon Kim Possible agreeing with her. I have only one question; what the hell is going on with Disney girls these days? More on this later…

– Of course this video comes out after Halloween.

– How about some fun timesucks? Isle of Tune, anyone? Oh, not your thing. Perhaps Entanglement is more to your liking. You don’t like either of them, you say? Then how about 50 more Flash games. Also, if you want something a little more intellectual, here’s some brain puzzles, and a game that tests your reactions; don’t say I never gave you anything.

– This picture is even better when you finally do find Waldo.

– You know that scene in that Keanu Reeves movie The Replacements (I know, just bear with me) where the local “dancers” the head cheerleader hired to be her squad start showing their “moves” out on the field?Yeah…Los Marineritas de Almirante Brown de Argentina are basically the real-life version of that, but with crazy-hot Argentinian women. Yeah.

Vertical cities always seem like an awesome idea, but I’ve always had reservations. What about people with claustrophobia? What about a base-width/structure-height ratio? How easy is it to move from level to level, and would that ease (or lack of it) translate to a segregated hierarchy?

– From the same people who brought you “weird Russian Gadget Hackwrench cult“, here’s “weird Peruvian dress-up-your-guinea-pig celebration!

– I’m torn on whether or not I find the idea of city-sized invisibility cloaks that affect space and time incredibly awesome or incredibly disturbing….it’s probably a good-sized amount of both.

Julia Crown. OH MY FUCKING GOD.

– OK, smart guy. You think a couple of hours a day of Fox News makes you qualified to tackle difficult political issues? Then here – you fix the budget.

– Hey, wanna feel old? Guess where you’ve seen this girl before. Give up? Prepare to cry.

– Not only is that sexy, but hey – dye that thing purple, throw on a sash and dye your hair, and you got a perfect Psylocke costume.

– If you saw Charlie Wilson’s War, you might remember this belly dancer. Well, her name is Tracy Phillips, and her father is former Dallas Cowboys head coach (and current Houston Texans defensive coordinator) Wade Phillips. Yeah. This guy. Guess that explains why Jerry Jones kept him around for so long…

– Since it’s not being reported on any news channels (seriously, what the fuck?) I feel that I cannot emphasize this enough – stay the fuck out of Mexico. Nobody wants any part of what’s going on down there; not even the Mexicans. Oh, and if you’re a pretty girl from the Andes region of Columbia – like, say, Juliana Sossa, Angie Sanclamente, or Laura Elena Zuniga – run. Run, and don’t even look back for a second.

– The more I see of Susan Coffey, the more and more I want to see.

This reminds me of the part of Gulliver’s Travels where the titular character is in Brobdingnag, the land of giants, and can’t help but notice that at that much of a size disparity, even the most attractive people appear disgusting. Something to think about. Oh, and it should go real well with these touchable holograms Japanese scientists are developing.

– Wait – there was a second season of Rupaul’s Drag Race?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Snuff Film.

– If you’re a man and you don’t have a smile on your face after scrolling down a few minutes, either you’re gay or you’re dead.

– Hey, I’ll say this: these guys have as good a shot of finishing their self-made Zelda film as anyone.

-Yes, it’s beyond messed up that this girl is in danger of losing her scholarship over completely legal activities, but honestly – how stupid must she be to agree to be in a porno while in college! Does she have any idea how much porno college-age guys watch? What – she goes to ASU? Oh…that explains that, then.

AAAAAHHHHHH!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

– Up until I went to college (go Gators), I wasn’t really a sports fan. I paid just about enough attention to be aware of what was happening, but for the most part I was solidly disinterested…except for basketball. And one of the things I remember hearing about early on, was the remarkable nature of the “basketball groupie”. With that said, I’d like to thank the ladies of Basketball Wives (an amazing title, considering that none of the women on the show are actually married to basketball players), especially Royce Reed, Evelyn Lozada, and most recently Jennifer Williams for bringing this “culture” into the spotlight, where hopefully it will shrivel and die in the withering rays of the sun.

– Now this is the type of top-10 list I can get behind.

– It’s interesting to see how a song or story can take on a completely different meaning depending on how it’s read/heard. For example, here’s Christopher Walken “performing” Lada Gaga’s “Pokerface”:

– …and here’s Werner Herzog ripping apart the facade that is “Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel”:

My Side Of The Mountain always was one of my favorite books as a kid:

– Nosaj Thing is the shit:

– A little played out, but c’mon; that’s adorable:

– And hey, speaking of puppets:

– Really? This is the first time The Roots, Erykah Badu & Eve have performed “You Got Me” together live?

–  Um…that’s…I’m, like, 70% sure this is sexy. Also, more Masuimi Max here:

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/5113311]

– Wait – there were 10 minutes of outtakes from Chappelle’s Show’s hilarious “Black Bush” sketch?

– Mark Visser riding a 40-foot wave at night, TRON style. YES:

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/19013071]

– Lazy Teenage Superheroes. This is brilliant, and it was only made for $300:

– Eat your heart out, Tiger Woods:

I Love The Internet (pt. 28)

November 28, 2010 1 comment

….aaaaannndd we’re back. Apparently while I was gone, Sheek Louch turned into a were-gorilla. Someone get this man a shiny suit immediately!

– So my friend was telling me about her quest to get a good Halloween costume, and she tells me that she saw a cute steampunk outfit, but didn’t get it because she “doesn’t agree with people who hate steam.” While the concept of alienated teenagers raging against a watery autocracy is pretty amusing, this Warren Ellis-inspired gallery of Steampunk Batmen is damn cool in its own right. Oh, and speaking of steampunk

– OH SHIT IT’S A NEW GIRL TALK ALBUM EVERYBODY SAY FUCK YEAH

– I desperately need more Hillary Fisher in my life.

– Oh, those wacky Russians. If this isn’t some sort of avant-garde Internet prank, this is one of the greatest things I’ve ever heard of.

– Well thank you very much, Rhys Cooper, for turning my entire 80’s-fueled youth into a GIGANTIC NIGHTMARE.

Miracle fruit, eh? What’s the over/under on how long it took before a couple took them and got down on a 69? A day? An hour?

Katy Perry Cleavage Bomb! You’re welcome, by the way…

– So apparently there are 8% more women than men in Latvia, and combined with a culture that encourages machismo (including heavy drinking and smoking, which leads to a ton of male deaths), Latvian women are finding themselves having to go abroad to find suitable men. On a separate note, Latvian women are apparently known for their unique beauty, former Playboy Playmate Igna Drozdova being among their number. Just sayin’…

– Well, this certainly puts Sixteen Stone in a whole new light

– Oh my God look at this GIANT KIT-KAT.

– Hey, you’d be smiling too.

– Let Christmas begin!!!

– So I don’t normally go for girls who seem like they probably spend way more time in the gym than I do, but…

Damn, Prudence Moe is for fucking real.

– Hey, it’s Jeju Loveland! An oldie but a goodie.

Deep-Fried Bacon Wrapped Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. The End – Game Over.

– I almost, almost, wish this type of thing would happen in America, just to see how many FNC “journalists'” heads would explode.

– This is Victoria Givens. Victoria is famous for holding a world record. And just what is that world record, you ask? Why, she took it up the ass from 101 men in 7 hours. Presumably, this is a “before” shot.

– This just in: Greg Rucka is the fucking man.

– Rule 34 strikes Southpark. And I don’t know who Laurie B. is, but I dig her stuff.

– I’ll be impressed when this is offered in a “personalized” form.

– I never really got into “The Hard Times of RJ Berger”, but JESUS Amber Lancaster is gorgeous.

Foreign commercials are awesome.

– Look, everyone – it’s a real-life Charizard!

– There is literally no corner of this home that has not had people fucking in it. NONE.

– Tim Curry as the  Joker? Sidney Poitier, Bruce Lee & Pam Grier in The Matrix? Pure awesomeness.

– So I recently wrote a post making great mention of hot female sportscasters. I seriously fucked up by not mentioning Melanie Collins.

– Alice makes for a pretty decent bottom bitch:

– Why am I just now finding out that Mila Kunis and Zoe Saldana were in a movie where they played two college roommates in a “friends with benefits” relationship?

– When I was a kid, Skeletor was terrifying. Now that I’m older, he just sounds like a whiny old jerk:

– Look, when Hunter S. Thompson tells you he wants you to come out to his farm, get drunk and shoot guns, you don’t ask questions. You just go.

I Love The Internet (pt. 26)

September 8, 2010 Leave a comment

– OK, so working in an ultra-modern version of Robin Hood’s hideout might seem cool, but nothing beats a sweltering steakhouse in Orlando in terms of job awesomeness, right? Right, people?

– Well, this should keep all those damn Freemason conspiracists busy…until 2012, that is. Unless our shrinking moon somehow fucks us over, of course.

– The secret history of Hanna-Barbera. Oh, and Power Puff Girls and Samurai Jack take place in the same universe. Mind=blown.

– Someone up there must like Daniel Tosh, because already-legendary gross-out flick The Human Centipede (First Sequence) is getting a sequel, entitled The Human Centipede II (The Final Sequence), the highlight of which will be a 12-person centipede. These cosplayers must be shitting themselves (and by definition, each other) which excitement.

– Seriously, fuck Ken Keeler. Writer for one of the funniest shows on television, and a Ph.D. in Math (Note – I feel like if you have a Ph.D, that field is capitalized when referenced in terms of said Ph.D)? Great; meanwhile, I’m struggling – and failing – to come up with pithy one-liners.

– See, instead of a pithy one-liner (see above), I just have a question: Did he go out and buy a 30-inch dildo, or did he already have it? Or did his mom have it? Bet that was a fun conversation. “Hey mom, can I borrow your 7-pound latex nightmare? I’m dressing up like a gay version of the Karate Kid from a dystopian future so I can have the world’s most sexually confused slapfight against a Spanish Inquisition LARP-er.”

– I really, really miss Firefly.

Triceratops aren’t real? MotherFUCKER! First the Brontosaurus, now good old Trikertop (what I called it as a kid)…what’s next, T-Rex?

– I get the mentality of “Any publicity is good publicity,” but something tells me that using ad’s specifically designed to mimic Hieronymus Bosch is probably not too good when you sell condoms.

– Sure, there’s been a ton of Inception-styled mashups lately, but did you know that Christoper Nolan stole the entire idea from an old Scrooge McDuck comic? It has to be true – it came to me in a dream.

– You know who Pete Rose is, right? Cincinnati Reds, all-time hits leader, banned from Cooperstown for betting on games; yeah, you know. But did you know that he is currently dating Kiana Kim, described by some as “the Pamela Anderson of Korea“? If you would just allow me a moment to pick my jaw up off the floor…WTF?

– Oldie but a goodie: old-school Kodachrome pics of pre-WWII America in beautiful color.

– Looks like Christoper Columbus was right after all; he was just off by about 400 years or so.

– With the current economic hardships enveloping the country, some of you out there might be looking for a sugar mama to take care of you. Might I suggest this list of the 16 hottest billionaire daughters? I’m waiting by the phone, Tamara Ecclestone.

– Oh, look: apparently Wall Street “elites” are moving away from cocaine, and getting into marijuana in droves. Well, at least this means weed will probably be legal in a year’s time or so – can’t have rich people getting in trouble for doing something, right? Fuckers.

– Thank you, io9, for this list of ridiculous gender-swapped heroes/heroines. Pretty crazy, although I’d be willing to bet Lady Lobo would be insane in the sack.

– It’s not too often that you see an inspirational poster start out with the words, “The world is meaningless,” but somehow this one pulls it off.

– Yes, it’s Google Chrome-ready only, but this joint venture between the online giant and The Arcade Fire is…I don’t even know what too call it. A movie? A game? A music video? Whatever it is, it’s absolutely epic.

– Look people, it would be great if Neil Gaiman’s literary classic Sandman actually made it to TV, but I’ve heard this before, so call me when Warner Bros. is filming a pilot, OK?

– As a Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan (I’ll give you a minute or two to finish laughing), before I read this article I never would’ve guessed there were 13 owners in the NFL worse than the Glazers. Thank you for educating me, Mike Silver, and let me offer my condolences to Bengals fans because Silver absolutely annihilates Cincinnati owner Mike Brown here.

– Looks like Dennis Rodman really took Dr. Drew’s words to heart on VH1’s “Sober House” last season.

– Darren Arronofsky’s new film Black Swan is getting some press because of the whole Natalie Portman-Mila Kunis maybe-lesbianism/definitely-kissing goodness(flashes at 1:20), but initial reviews are less along the lines of “Oooh – looks like it’s sexytime,” and more “What the fuck was that?”:

Seriously…what the fuck is going on there?

– Time for a blast from the past! You know, Sega must’ve made 10 crappy Sonic games, and all they really had to do was remake the original two games in 3D and they would’ve been golden:

– I keep telling you people, vampires are on their way out – it’s all about zombies in 2011. Check out this trailer for AMC’s “The Walking Dead” if you don’t believe me:

Yeeeeesssssss:

– In honor of the upcoming NFL season, who doesn’t love a good cheerleader face-off? In the red corner, we have the newest Lady Pirates:

and in the green corner, the sweeter side of the Miami Dolphins:

In case you were wondering, yes those are the only football teams in Florida.

– Get ready to run through a fucking brick wall:

I Love The Internet (pt. 22)

April 8, 2010 Leave a comment

– Mark it down: 2010 is the year of the zombies, and these Street Fighter pics are just the tip of the iceberg.

– Bruce Lee v. Iron Man. This. Is. EPIC.

– Megan Fox certainly knows how to keep people’s interests, and it’s definitely not her acting talents.

– I would’ve added “Dark Claw”, but this list of Wolverine’s ten worst moments is still pretty good.

– Hey, remember that giant real-life Gundam from almost a year back? Well, it’s back, and this time it’s got a beam saber. EVERYONE PANIC!!!

Dog Heaven.

– Thank you, Greg Manchess, for this incredible picture of one of the best, bloodiest moments in fantasy literature, the battle of Dumai’s Wells from Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series.

– These interactive political polls are always interesting to me, mainly because I’m always more progressive than I would imagine.

– There are bad porno-type sex scenes, and there’s bad monster movies, but when the two meet, that’s when you get something special.

– At least someone has their priorities in order.

– For browser early adopters like myself, this trick to update your add-ons is absolutely clutch.

– There’s never a bad time for Mila Kunis pics.

– When you wanna grow marijuana, but you don’t want anyone to know, the Stealth Box is invaluable.

– OK, so…is this girl a douchebagette or not? I’m torn…

– Hell, yes – this list of secret menu items at 24 different fast-food type restaurants has changed my life.

– Goddamnit, people – I love Guitar Hero as much as the next person, but if your controller has strings, JUST LEARN HOW TO PLAY AN ACTUAL GUITAR. Trust me, women are far more impressed by actual talent than video-game talent, and yes, there is a difference.

– Heh; explosions are cool.

– HAH! I ask you, though: how did he not see the sign?

– Why couldn’t I have gone to a cool school like this when I was a kid?

Macaulay Culkin left semen in Jacko’s Blanket

August 30, 2009 Leave a comment

Yeah, thats not creepy.

Yeah, that's not creepy.


Maybe.
So now the big Michael Jackson news is that Culkin, who apparently is also godfather to the King of Pop’s other two kids, may have also made a milk drop for Jacko…you know what? I’m not gonna re-encapsulate the whole deal; here’s the link.
Honestly, I’m totally sick of Michael Jackson at this point. To be completely truthful, I’ve been sick of him for years, but now I’m DONE done. I mean, does it matter who fathered those kids? They’re still fucked either way.
On the plus side, if this means that Mila Kunis is gonna be available, hey…hit me up.

Bonus: Mila with Culkin and Seth Green getting high (maybe); yet another reason I wouldn’t kick her out of bed…