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I Love The Internet (pt. 28)

November 28, 2010 1 comment

….aaaaannndd we’re back. Apparently while I was gone, Sheek Louch turned into a were-gorilla. Someone get this man a shiny suit immediately!

– So my friend was telling me about her quest to get a good Halloween costume, and she tells me that she saw a cute steampunk outfit, but didn’t get it because she “doesn’t agree with people who hate steam.” While the concept of alienated teenagers raging against a watery autocracy is pretty amusing, this Warren Ellis-inspired gallery of Steampunk Batmen is damn cool in its own right. Oh, and speaking of steampunk

– OH SHIT IT’S A NEW GIRL TALK ALBUM EVERYBODY SAY FUCK YEAH

– I desperately need more Hillary Fisher in my life.

– Oh, those wacky Russians. If this isn’t some sort of avant-garde Internet prank, this is one of the greatest things I’ve ever heard of.

– Well thank you very much, Rhys Cooper, for turning my entire 80’s-fueled youth into a GIGANTIC NIGHTMARE.

Miracle fruit, eh? What’s the over/under on how long it took before a couple took them and got down on a 69? A day? An hour?

Katy Perry Cleavage Bomb! You’re welcome, by the way…

– So apparently there are 8% more women than men in Latvia, and combined with a culture that encourages machismo (including heavy drinking and smoking, which leads to a ton of male deaths), Latvian women are finding themselves having to go abroad to find suitable men. On a separate note, Latvian women are apparently known for their unique beauty, former Playboy Playmate Igna Drozdova being among their number. Just sayin’…

– Well, this certainly puts Sixteen Stone in a whole new light

– Oh my God look at this GIANT KIT-KAT.

– Hey, you’d be smiling too.

– Let Christmas begin!!!

– So I don’t normally go for girls who seem like they probably spend way more time in the gym than I do, but…

Damn, Prudence Moe is for fucking real.

– Hey, it’s Jeju Loveland! An oldie but a goodie.

Deep-Fried Bacon Wrapped Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. The End – Game Over.

– I almost, almost, wish this type of thing would happen in America, just to see how many FNC “journalists'” heads would explode.

– This is Victoria Givens. Victoria is famous for holding a world record. And just what is that world record, you ask? Why, she took it up the ass from 101 men in 7 hours. Presumably, this is a “before” shot.

– This just in: Greg Rucka is the fucking man.

– Rule 34 strikes Southpark. And I don’t know who Laurie B. is, but I dig her stuff.

– I’ll be impressed when this is offered in a “personalized” form.

– I never really got into “The Hard Times of RJ Berger”, but JESUS Amber Lancaster is gorgeous.

Foreign commercials are awesome.

– Look, everyone – it’s a real-life Charizard!

– There is literally no corner of this home that has not had people fucking in it. NONE.

– Tim Curry as the ┬áJoker? Sidney Poitier, Bruce Lee & Pam Grier in The Matrix? Pure awesomeness.

– So I recently wrote a post making great mention of hot female sportscasters. I seriously fucked up by not mentioning Melanie Collins.

– Alice makes for a pretty decent bottom bitch:

– Why am I just now finding out that Mila Kunis and Zoe Saldana were in a movie where they played two college roommates in a “friends with benefits” relationship?

– When I was a kid, Skeletor was terrifying. Now that I’m older, he just sounds like a whiny old jerk:

– Look, when Hunter S. Thompson tells you he wants you to come out to his farm, get drunk and shoot guns, you don’t ask questions. You just go.

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I Love The Internet (pt. 15)

December 2, 2009 Leave a comment

– Like a ton of other people, when I was a kid I collected sports cards; basketball, more than any other sport. But I never saw anything like the cards GRANDBigBird came up with that combine basketball icons with “King of Fighters” title screens, of all things. Hilarious.
– Hear ye, hear ye! Merely enter your name upon the digital scroll of Make Me Mighty, for your title to be altered to an appropriately legendary office more fitting of your ineffable station!
– I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but over the last decade or two the US Army has taken more and more of its cues from the video game industry. The newest addition? Smart armor that gives you a readout on how damaged it is, a la Halo (or really, any FPS ever).
– Nice trick; now let’s see you chug that beer.
– I have been to a shit-ton of weddings in my time, and I honestly can not remember a single detail of any of the bride’s wedding dresses at all. Had I seen this one, that fact would not be true. Yowza.
Irvin Rosenfield, you are my hero.
– Oh – oh these are so cool. I mean, I know it’s not difficult to create something cool out of Mortal Kombat, but these original drawings from a scrapped “reset” project…so cool.
– I know a real-life Wall-E seems like a good idea at first, but what about job security for garbagemen, and potential unit theft, and…who am I kidding; this is awesome.
– As far as flesh parades go, the annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show might be rivaled only by Rio de Janerio’s Carneval.
– In 1975, famed sci-fi cover artist Chris Foss was picked to create a series of conceptual sketches for a planned film version of Frank Herbert’s seminal series ‘Dune’. The movie ended up falling apart, but the sketches are still available for sale, and they are fucking gorgeous, my personal favorite being the Harkonnen Flagship (which looks remarkably similar to a preposterously elaborate bong).
– It’s amazing, but you take a girl who’s on the wrong side of the attractive Mendoza line, throw her in a Princess Leia slave girl outfit, and a guy’ll at least take a second look. It’s a scientific fact.
– Oh. My. God. This is…why? How much money did this company spend to create the world’s most advanced robot vagina? Look, a little blurb by me isn’t going to do this thing justice, so just go to the site and check this ridiculousness out. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.
– This is pretty cool: stereomood claims to be able to tailor a streaming playlist for you according to your mood, and you know what? It’s actually pretty accurate.
– One of the crazy things about living on your own as a guy is finding new uses for supposedly specialized devices. Example: in the last few days, I have seen waffle iron recipes ranging from pizza pockets to bacon and 90-second cookies.
– So Peter Jackson (he of Lord of the Rings fame) and Neil Blomkamp, the guy who wrote District 9, were working on a Halo movie in 2002 when various studio/funding issues caused the whole project to get dropped. Which was stupid, in my opinion, because a well-executed Halo movie would be an easy choice for biggest movie of the year, but whatever. On the plus side, even though the movie got shelved, an 8-minute short film was used as a sort of extended commercial, and here it is in all its glory: