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Posts Tagged ‘He-Man’

I Love The Internet (pt. 28)

November 28, 2010 1 comment

….aaaaannndd we’re back. Apparently while I was gone, Sheek Louch turned into a were-gorilla. Someone get this man a shiny suit immediately!

– So my friend was telling me about her quest to get a good Halloween costume, and she tells me that she saw a cute steampunk outfit, but didn’t get it because she “doesn’t agree with people who hate steam.” While the concept of alienated teenagers raging against a watery autocracy is pretty amusing, this Warren Ellis-inspired gallery of Steampunk Batmen is damn cool in its own right. Oh, and speaking of steampunk

– OH SHIT IT’S A NEW GIRL TALK ALBUM EVERYBODY SAY FUCK YEAH

– I desperately need more Hillary Fisher in my life.

– Oh, those wacky Russians. If this isn’t some sort of avant-garde Internet prank, this is one of the greatest things I’ve ever heard of.

– Well thank you very much, Rhys Cooper, for turning my entire 80’s-fueled youth into a GIGANTIC NIGHTMARE.

Miracle fruit, eh? What’s the over/under on how long it took before a couple took them and got down on a 69? A day? An hour?

Katy Perry Cleavage Bomb! You’re welcome, by the way…

– So apparently there are 8% more women than men in Latvia, and combined with a culture that encourages machismo (including heavy drinking and smoking, which leads to a ton of male deaths), Latvian women are finding themselves having to go abroad to find suitable men. On a separate note, Latvian women are apparently known for their unique beauty, former Playboy Playmate Igna Drozdova being among their number. Just sayin’…

– Well, this certainly puts Sixteen Stone in a whole new light

– Oh my God look at this GIANT KIT-KAT.

– Hey, you’d be smiling too.

– Let Christmas begin!!!

– So I don’t normally go for girls who seem like they probably spend way more time in the gym than I do, but…

Damn, Prudence Moe is for fucking real.

– Hey, it’s Jeju Loveland! An oldie but a goodie.

Deep-Fried Bacon Wrapped Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. The End – Game Over.

– I almost, almost, wish this type of thing would happen in America, just to see how many FNC “journalists'” heads would explode.

– This is Victoria Givens. Victoria is famous for holding a world record. And just what is that world record, you ask? Why, she took it up the ass from 101 men in 7 hours. Presumably, this is a “before” shot.

– This just in: Greg Rucka is the fucking man.

– Rule 34 strikes Southpark. And I don’t know who Laurie B. is, but I dig her stuff.

– I’ll be impressed when this is offered in a “personalized” form.

– I never really got into “The Hard Times of RJ Berger”, but JESUS Amber Lancaster is gorgeous.

Foreign commercials are awesome.

– Look, everyone – it’s a real-life Charizard!

– There is literally no corner of this home that has not had people fucking in it. NONE.

– Tim Curry as the ┬áJoker? Sidney Poitier, Bruce Lee & Pam Grier in The Matrix? Pure awesomeness.

– So I recently wrote a post making great mention of hot female sportscasters. I seriously fucked up by not mentioning Melanie Collins.

– Alice makes for a pretty decent bottom bitch:

– Why am I just now finding out that Mila Kunis and Zoe Saldana were in a movie where they played two college roommates in a “friends with benefits” relationship?

– When I was a kid, Skeletor was terrifying. Now that I’m older, he just sounds like a whiny old jerk:

– Look, when Hunter S. Thompson tells you he wants you to come out to his farm, get drunk and shoot guns, you don’t ask questions. You just go.

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I Love The Internet (pt. 21)

March 7, 2010 Leave a comment

– All I know is that 15-year-old kid is going to kill whoever dropped the dime on his affair with his hot 27-year-old actress/BALLET TEACHER. Also, if anyone can find any other pictures of Sarah Pirie besides the one, send ’em my way.

– Fact #1: Thai women are some of the hottest around, and regularly star in some of my favorite Asian pornos. Fact #2: I won’t be hooking up with any. This is why.

– In 1845 famed German mathematician Ruben Z. Clitz authored a paper detailing his “Law of Violence”, where he stated that the attractiveness of any women will increase by at least 10% once they are engaged in a catfight. For proof, see these videos.

– Scott Boras is widely considered to be one of the most ruthless, successful sports agents in Major League Baseball, if not all of sports, representing guys like Adrian Beltre, Carlos Beltran, Kevin Millwood, and formerly A-Rod. But that’s pretty widely known information. What wasn’t widely known? His daughter Natalie is smoking hot.

– The only way that this could be hotter is if you could use the Konami Code to get her off more quickly. Plus, check out this list of websites where you can use the Konami Code to great effect.

– Take a collection of beloved kitschy 80’s toys, throw them in a post-apocalyptic setting, and you have this slice of brilliance from Tom Kyzivat. Also, the Skeletor in picture #4 would have made me shit my pants if I’d seen him when I was a kid.

No words…should have sent a poet…

– You know what the worst thing about these pics is? Some of these couples are brother and sister.

– Yes, I’m aware that it seems ridiculous to make a big deal out of Batman’s “death” and the subsequent “Battle For The Cowl” only to have Bruce Wayne return a year later, and YES, I know that the similarities between Wayne’s return and Steve “Captain America” Rogers’ comeback are more than coincidental, but c’mon. Caveman Batman? Pirate Batman?! That’s just good stuff.

– What could be sexier than a hot cheerleader? How about a sexy Portuguese cheerleader with one of the finest racks to come by in quite some time? Gentlemen, meet Vera Santos.

– My 14-year-old sister saw this picture and immediately labeled it the “cutest thing ever.” So it’s got that going for it, which is nice.

Slinky dogs. Seriously, this is probably what hot dogs are going to look like in a few years. I gotta be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about this.

– Everything you ever wanted to know about the female orgasm except how to give her one. Also, I like how 13.4% of women and 13.7% of men had “no answer” for where the clitoris was. Really; you’re not even going to take a stab at it (no pun intended)?

– I honestly can’t tell if these folks are over-dressed or perfectly attired. Also, old-timey porn is hilarious.

– Not sure what’s funnier here: that it looks like Miley Cyrus wants to jump Lil’ Wayne’s bones, or that she’s apparently taller than him.

– You know what’s fun and totally non-controversial? Art exhibitions portraying Jesus Christ as the gay son of a prostitute. Yep – there’s no way anyone could have a problem with that, right? What’s that? It was closed down after numerous protests? Oh…

– When you tell me that a 23-year-old Chinese model nicknamed “Shoushou” (Chinese for “beast”) is involved in one of those overblown Asian sex “scandals”, I imagine a rough-looking dude; I certainly don’t expect to see the singularly lovely Zhai Ling.

– So apparently the NCAA has approved beach volleyball for varsity play starting in the 2010-11 season, which means you can expect to see drunk college students hollering at toned, tanned micro-bikini wearing teenage hotties like Nebraska’s Tara Mueller. I cannot believe this wasn’t a sport back when I was going to the University of Florida.

– Never thought I’d say I was jealous of one of the Brady’s, but man, Christopher Knight has one of the best wives I’ve ever seen.

– Yeah, pretty much:

– For those of you eating, I present 20 of the most stomach-churning moments in cinema. My “favorite” moment? The needles in the eyeball in “Audition”. Shudder

– I know I haven’t watched Sesame Street in a while, but can someone tell me when Bert & Ernie got their hood passes?