Posts Tagged ‘Christopher Walken’

I Love The Internet (pt. 29)

January 26, 2011 Leave a comment

Hey, remember that Master P song, "Mr. Ice Cream Man"?

Oh, Gucci Mane; promise me you’ll never change.

– I know it’s never going to happen, but with guys like Newt Gingrich and Bill Kristol all over TV, it would be nice to see someone like Richard Trumka getting a little more airplay.

– Some things aren’t obvious until they’re starkly pointed out. Example: Johnny Depp has had a lot of weird roles.

These are so in my wheelhouse that’s it’s not even funny. Caleb Charland, you are my new favorite photographer.

– My ass that this is Margaret McPoyle. My entire ass.

– Look, it’s always gonna sting losing Mila Kunis, but if you have to get a rebound, you could do a lot worse than a porn star.

– Really, Kanye? You spent $180,000 on a crazy-ass watch that has an iced-out picture of yourself? Have you never heard of a mirror? How the hell can you tell what time it is? Isn’t that the entire point of a watch?

– God damnit, bro.

– This is Jeannette McCurdy of the Disney Channel’s “iCarly”. This is her proving that you’re never too young to have your tits out. And this is Christy Carlson Romano, formerly of Even Stevens and voice of popular cartoon Kim Possible agreeing with her. I have only one question; what the hell is going on with Disney girls these days? More on this later…

– Of course this video comes out after Halloween.

– How about some fun timesucks? Isle of Tune, anyone? Oh, not your thing. Perhaps Entanglement is more to your liking. You don’t like either of them, you say? Then how about 50 more Flash games. Also, if you want something a little more intellectual, here’s some brain puzzles, and a game that tests your reactions; don’t say I never gave you anything.

– This picture is even better when you finally do find Waldo.

– You know that scene in that Keanu Reeves movie The Replacements (I know, just bear with me) where the local “dancers” the head cheerleader hired to be her squad start showing their “moves” out on the field?Yeah…Los Marineritas de Almirante Brown de Argentina are basically the real-life version of that, but with crazy-hot Argentinian women. Yeah.

Vertical cities always seem like an awesome idea, but I’ve always had reservations. What about people with claustrophobia? What about a base-width/structure-height ratio? How easy is it to move from level to level, and would that ease (or lack of it) translate to a segregated hierarchy?

– From the same people who brought you “weird Russian Gadget Hackwrench cult“, here’s “weird Peruvian dress-up-your-guinea-pig celebration!

– I’m torn on whether or not I find the idea of city-sized invisibility cloaks that affect space and time incredibly awesome or incredibly disturbing….it’s probably a good-sized amount of both.


– OK, smart guy. You think a couple of hours a day of Fox News makes you qualified to tackle difficult political issues? Then here – you fix the budget.

– Hey, wanna feel old? Guess where you’ve seen this girl before. Give up? Prepare to cry.

– Not only is that sexy, but hey – dye that thing purple, throw on a sash and dye your hair, and you got a perfect Psylocke costume.

– If you saw Charlie Wilson’s War, you might remember this belly dancer. Well, her name is Tracy Phillips, and her father is former Dallas Cowboys head coach (and current Houston Texans defensive coordinator) Wade Phillips. Yeah. This guy. Guess that explains why Jerry Jones kept him around for so long…

– Since it’s not being reported on any news channels (seriously, what the fuck?) I feel that I cannot emphasize this enough – stay the fuck out of Mexico. Nobody wants any part of what’s going on down there; not even the Mexicans. Oh, and if you’re a pretty girl from the Andes region of Columbia – like, say, Juliana Sossa, Angie Sanclamente, or Laura Elena Zuniga – run. Run, and don’t even look back for a second.

– The more I see of Susan Coffey, the more and more I want to see.

This reminds me of the part of Gulliver’s Travels where the titular character is in Brobdingnag, the land of giants, and can’t help but notice that at that much of a size disparity, even the most attractive people appear disgusting. Something to think about. Oh, and it should go real well with these touchable holograms Japanese scientists are developing.

– Wait – there was a second season of Rupaul’s Drag Race?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Snuff Film.

– If you’re a man and you don’t have a smile on your face after scrolling down a few minutes, either you’re gay or you’re dead.

– Hey, I’ll say this: these guys have as good a shot of finishing their self-made Zelda film as anyone.

-Yes, it’s beyond messed up that this girl is in danger of losing her scholarship over completely legal activities, but honestly – how stupid must she be to agree to be in a porno while in college! Does she have any idea how much porno college-age guys watch? What – she goes to ASU? Oh…that explains that, then.


– Up until I went to college (go Gators), I wasn’t really a sports fan. I paid just about enough attention to be aware of what was happening, but for the most part I was solidly disinterested…except for basketball. And one of the things I remember hearing about early on, was the remarkable nature of the “basketball groupie”. With that said, I’d like to thank the ladies of Basketball Wives (an amazing title, considering that none of the women on the show are actually married to basketball players), especially Royce Reed, Evelyn Lozada, and most recently Jennifer Williams for bringing this “culture” into the spotlight, where hopefully it will shrivel and die in the withering rays of the sun.

– Now this is the type of top-10 list I can get behind.

– It’s interesting to see how a song or story can take on a completely different meaning depending on how it’s read/heard. For example, here’s Christopher Walken “performing” Lada Gaga’s “Pokerface”:

– …and here’s Werner Herzog ripping apart the facade that is “Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel”:

My Side Of The Mountain always was one of my favorite books as a kid:

– Nosaj Thing is the shit:

– A little played out, but c’mon; that’s adorable:

– And hey, speaking of puppets:

– Really? This is the first time The Roots, Erykah Badu & Eve have performed “You Got Me” together live?

–  Um…that’s…I’m, like, 70% sure this is sexy. Also, more Masuimi Max here:


– Wait – there were 10 minutes of outtakes from Chappelle’s Show’s hilarious “Black Bush” sketch?

– Mark Visser riding a 40-foot wave at night, TRON style. YES:


– Lazy Teenage Superheroes. This is brilliant, and it was only made for $300:

– Eat your heart out, Tiger Woods:


I Love The Internet (pt. 19)

January 30, 2010 2 comments

– It took me a full five minutes to realize this was Christopher Walken.
– Oh man, these concept art pieces from the upcoming Green Lantern movie look so good. I gotta be honest, I wasn’t sure how this movie would work, with such a huge alien cast, but if these are any indication, between GL and Deadpool Ryan Reynolds could be the next big action star, à la Matt Damon in the Bourne Trilogy.
– How? How are people still falling for con artists who say they can use magic? I swear, every time I think humanity is making its way towards true modernism, I hear some stupid story like this. And how disappointing was it that the guy turned out to be your average extortionist/rapist?
– When I get bored, I like to torture myself by thinking of all the things I would do if I were insanely rich. One of those things would be printing out a million of these flyers and putting them up all over major cities in the U.S.
– As Youtube and the like have made online video hyper-common over the years, struggling publishers have turned to making movie-style trailers for upcoming releases, in the hopes of garnering as much attention as possible. While I’m not totally sure whether that’s a good thing, this trailer for Going West is one of the most imaginative things I’ve seen in a while.
– No matter where you’re from and how you came up, there’s a universal truth among all men: when puberty hits, you know it.
– A handy pocket-ready guide to modern love, courtesy of the creator of the Simpsons. I prefer the time-tested method of insecurely muddling through a relationship soaked in a pungent, tangy mix of anxiousness and passion, but then again I didn’t make millions from creating a clever satire of modern life.
– Former Japanese AV/gravure idol Hitomi Tanaka and her J-cup tits recently made the move from softcore, blurred Japanese porno to unblurred hardcore “we’re gonna show everything” skin flicks. Men across the world thank you, Ms. Tanaka, and they thank Boobpedia for the relevant info. Also, how hilarious is it that there’s a site called Boobpedia?
– I’m aware this mashup of all great internet trends has been making the rounds lately, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t one of the coolest things I’ve seen this year so far.
– Something to think about
– I understand that it’s The Onion, but I would have a lot more respect for ESPN if they even tangentially broached subjects like this in any fashion, let alone a humorous one. Obviously, the quote that slayed me:

O’Neal, who scored 12 points and grabbed three rebounds during the first half of the game, returned to the bench at the beginning of the third quarter, clutching at the pulled pork sandwich and informing trainers that it was incredibly tender. A member of the Cavaliers’ medical staff said that when he attempted to examine the pulled pork sandwich, O’Neal flinched away and grunted sharply.

Trust me, it only gets better from there.
– A few weeks ago, I did a post on rappers to watch over the next year. If I do a similar list for eye candy, Briana Loyd would be among one of my first picks. Yowza.
– I’m always amazed by the ability of certain musicians to take an easily exhaustible concept, or a middling amount of talent, or even both, and milk remarkably long-lived careers out of them. KISS, Tiny Tim, a shitload of bands from the 70’s and 80’s…and, of course, the Insane Clown Posse – yeah, they’re still around – who just released their third (!) film Big Money Rustlas, also known as Fat Untalented Wannabe Rappers in the Old West. There’s been a decade-long war going on in Detroit between The Underground and Juggalo Nation, and when the Fillmore Theater gets packed in the middle of winter by face-painted clown fans who waited hours in the cold, the wrong side is winning.
– And the winner of this week’s “Amazing Hot Asian Girl Who We’ll Most Likely Never See Or Hear From Again” is…Wang Yibing! Lemme ask you something; would it be too obvious to make a “Wang” joke right here? Oh well, too late.
– It seems a little ironic that you have this architecture that’s designed to play music when it rains, but it’s in the most unintelligibly named place I’ve ever heard. Seriously, ‘the Kunsthofpassage in Neustadt’? Is that even a human language?
– I’m not sure what’s more interesting about this story: that the economy has gotten so bad that even prostitutes are feeling the pinch, that a drag queen felt her (his?) oral skills were worth more than $5 a session, or that this story was written in Canada but the monetary denominations are in dollars rather than Canadian money.
– I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but Miranda Kerr is painfully, mind-blowingly hot, as these pictures will attest. Enjoy…yes, I know it’s a slideshow – get over it.
– And in today’s “Yeah…that’s a little creepy” moment, we have Distinguished Author Alan Moore impersonating his own legendary creation Rorsarch, as he reads from the seminal literature work “Watchmen”:

– Can we just all agree that all religions have ridiculous aspects to them? I mean, yeah, this cartoon makes Mormonism look really bad (come on – black people are reincarnated angels that didn’t fight in the War against Satan?), but at the end of the day, is it any more ridiculous than the concept of the Holy Trinity, or the rest of it?

– Ladies and gentlemen (especially the gentlemen, obviously), I present the Twerk Team – a group of business-minded strippers who decided to turn their God-given talents for shaking their coconut-stuffed asses into a business that’s been getting some internet buzz ever since Ludacris endorsed their video version of his new hit song “How Low”. Let me just say, anytime a cadre of firm-bodied young ladies want to try and make some money by swinging their hips to and fro, I’m all for it:

– Sometimes, people just need to take a step back and reassess their place in the universe: