I Love The Internet (pt. 23)

– This week’s sci-fi time waster comes courtesy of io9, in the form of a “Which Iron Man Are You?” quiz. Unless one of the answers involves you not being an STD-riddled drunk with a target on his back, there really aren’t any winners.

– OK, so on their own, these cube watermelons are nothing more than a slightly amusing curiosity. Combine them with these instructions on how to make a watermelon keg, however, and we could be looking at the next big summer fad.

– A helpful protip to all the aspiring rappers out there: if you’re seriously considering getting an iced-out Muppet on your chain, just put the money back in your pocket. That’s Fozzie Bear, if anyone’s having troubling with an ID. Interesting move considering this guy just got shot twice and robbed for his chain just a few short months ago. Maybe he figures he still needs a ludicrous amount of money hanging around his neck, but maybe if it’s inexplicably ridiculous nobody will want it bad enough to rob him. If so, my hat is off to him.

– Good Lord: Shay “The UK Bombshell” certainly more than lives up to her name.

– I desperately need someone more creative than I to make an entire story around this picture.

– Because nothing can be considered fun in this world without people wondering if it would be even more fun if they were high while they were doing it, this is SeshRoulette.

– I want everyone to take a real good look at this picture of Chauncey Morlan. Then take a look around you. People used to pay money to see this guy because he was so out of the ordinary that it was considered freakish! Sigh…sometimes I wonder if humanity is evolving towards forced corpulence.

– My God…it’s full of stars…

– Behold, the only good thing about Twitter: the potential opportunity for a nubile young actress to send you, unsolicited, pictures of the twins.

– File this under good ideas gone great: these guys got the brilliant brainflash to make a book full of realistically painted children’s drawings/stories. The result is one of the creepiest, most intriguing things you’ll see all year, guaranteed.

– Wait a minute – $230 for a porno book in braille? I hesitate to make a joke about that money being better suited actually taking a girl out and hoping for the best, but…isn’t it?

– Yeah, this site shows you how to make D.I.Y. Snickers. Could someone explain again to me how the hell we became a culture so consumed with buying stuff instead of trying to make stuff?

– Nearly a year ago, I mentioned a cocaine bar that had recently been opened in Bolivia. “Only in Bolivia,” I chuckled, thinking that surely nothing could top the idea of a yayo lounge. I think selling a coca-infused sweet soft drink in a very familiar designed bottle and calling it “Coca Colla” qualifies as topping said lounge.

– Somewhere, someone is looking at this gallery of twin bikini models and singing that goddamn awful beer commercial jingle about “the twins” from a few years back. You remember; the one where the guy’s singing about stuff he likes and punctuates every verse with “aaannndd twwwiinnnnsss.” If that person is near you, I’m sorry. If you’re that person, go fuck yourself.

– Someday, a smart production company is going to hold an open competition online for poster design, instead of going to the same staid handful of photographers, and the results are going to be fucking sweet.

– “Fuck Yeah” alert: the creators of H.R. Pufnstuff and Land of the Lost are getting together with Ruby-Spears Production to animate a cartoon series based on lost designs made in the 80’s by venerable legend Jack Kirby. Yes, the initial pictures look epic.

– That’s one motorboatin’ son of a bitch.

– And we’re back to where we started with some Iron man geekery; namely, a “real world” breakdown of how his armor would work. Short, but very cool.

– Yeah, I know, the third season of “The Boondocks” already started, but still, dudes just steady dick ride Obama…something needed to be said:

– Everyone’s probably seen this via Sportscenter, but in case it’s new to you, HOLY SHIT THIS IS BALLSY:

– Finally, in absolutely apropos fashion, we’ll let GodSpeed You Black Emperor take it away with “Storm”, better known as “End Title Overture”: